User blog:Awesomesix/Total Drama ERB: Rizachulous Race S1E02- Curry Up, Already Part 2
Episode two is out, and it involves jewels, fools, stalls, and falls. I can't rhyme and this takes too much time. How sublime! Episode *The camera opens up to Zach next to Gandhi before the scene in the last episode, helicopter leaving.* Zach Sherwin: Last time on Rizachulous Race, our 18 teams enjoyed a boat ride to the dock for the first challenge. *The scene of Adam Savage blowing up the boat, with Oprah and Ellen running off of it, plays while Zach talks.* Zach Sherwin: Some players found friends. *The scene of Beethoven and Romeo’s discussion plays with the narration.* Zach Sherwin: Some enemies. *The scene of Washington knocking over Caesar plays with the narration.* Zach Sherwin: And some found pain. *The scene of Michael Jordan being punched by Bruce Lee, then Romeo being hit with the boom mike, plays.* Zach Sherwin: But the important thing is no one has won anything yet, the first first place is still up for grabs. Who will get it? Keep watching to find out... Here on the Rizachulous Race. *Zach Sherwin turns to look at Gandhi.* Zach Sherwin: So, who do you think it will be? *The scene now cuts to Leonidas stopping first by Zach, then Cleopatra and Monroe, Julius and Shaka, Washington and Wallace, Capone and Blackbeard, and Lee and Eastwood.* Leonidas: Alright, we did it, babe! Gorgo: Woo. Bruce Lee: Oh, come on! We lose to all of you? Al Capone (To Cleopatra): So… heh… looks like we’re together. Julius Caesar: Looks like we're together, Washington. George Washington: Unfortunately. *David Copperfield and Harry Houdini stop in seventh.* Zach Sherwin: Aaaand seventh. Harry Houdini: Fine by me. Seven is a mysterious number... *Romeo and Juliet reach 8th, with Bonnie and Clyde 9th. Bill and Ted manage 10th, Adam and Eve 11th, Bieber and Beethoven 12th.* Zach Sherwin: Twelfth place, Beethoven and Bieber! Beethoven: Greaat.. Twelfth? That's, like, two thirds of everyone ahead of us! Justin Bieber: This game blows. Bill: Tenth place, yes! Ted: It’s practically my birthday! Bill: Dude, when is that? Ted: I dunno... *Oprah and Ellen reach 13th, Sherlock and Watson reach 14th, Adam Savage and Jamie 15th, Gaga and Palin 16th, Miley and Joan 17th, Jordan and Ali 18th.* Zach Sherwin: Aaaand eighteenth to the athletes! Michael Jordan: Way to mess us up, Ali! Muhammad Ali: I didn’t mess anyone up! You messed up me! Zach Sherwin: So, you may be wondering what this challenge is. Well, Leo, see that box? *Leonidas turns to his right, noticing a box held up by a 2 foot tall statue of Zach.* Zach Sherwin: That’s the battle box. Press the button on top. Leonidas: Okay, man. *Leonidas presses the button on top and pulls out the paper.* Zach Sherwin: And that piece of paper is the Suggestion. I suggest you do it, or you lose. Leonidas: *Reading the paper* A Team Battle…? “Racing India Streets”... one partner must push a stall with the other partner on it, collect five valuables from street vendors, one from each stall, and carry them on their cart, and meet Zach on the… Safety Napkin? What? Zach Sherwin: Indeed. The Safety Napkin is a large, white, rug indicating you are safe. Unless you’re the last person to reach it, or not to, either way you’re out. Al Capone: So, when do we leave? Zach Sherwin: Well, Leonidas and Gorgo can leave right now. The next team, Cleopatra and Monroe must wait a minute until they can. Then another minute for Julius and Shaka, and so forth. Meaning Michael Jordan and Muhammad Ali must wait… (Confessional) Jordan and Ali *Michael Jordan is on the left, angry, facing away from the center. Muhammad Ali is seen pacing in the back.* Michael Jordan: EIGHTEEN MINUTES? I knew you were a bad teammate! End Confessional *The Camera cuts to Leonidas pushing Gorgo around on the cart, looking for a market in the crowded streets.* Leonidas: See anything, babe? Gorgo: Nope. Just walls. Walls everywhere. Walls, and people. *Yawn.* *Leonidas sits down by their cart to think.* Leonidas: If I were a stall, where would I be… this is a tough challenge. It hurts my brain! *Cleopatra and Monroe suddenly speed by, Cleopatra sitting on the cart.* Marilyn Monroe: See you later, losers! Leonidas: Hey! ...Not anymore, you won’t! Get back here! *Leonidas shoves the cart into motion, dropping Gorgo off of it by accident, and chases after Monroe and Cleopatra. Not caring, Gorgo just lazes in place. The scene then transitions back to Zach, with Caesar and Zulu readying to go.* Julius Caesar: See you never, Washington and Wallace. Shaka Zulu: Just shut up and get on! Julius Caesar: Whatever, Shaka. *Shaka Zulu grabs the handles at the back, with Caesar climbing on. After he gets on, Zach starts their time, and Zulu speeds into action, racing on the street.* George Washington: Oh, we’ll see who sees who never, Caesar. When we crush you again, and win! You’ll be out before you know it… William Wallace: So, ye gonna get on, or… *Washington looks over at Wallace, who’s standing behind the cart, impatient.* William Wallace: Fine, fine, don’t rush me, geez! Zach Sherwin: Well, with 30 seconds left to go, and counting down, the only thing that’s rushing you is your time left in the race and will to win-go! *Washington hops with one leg on the cart while Wallace pushes it as fast as he can, both yelling at each other.* Beethoven: They call that ''teamwork? They’re only focused on the other team! Justin Bieber: Compared to the Athletes, at least they’re cooperating. Michael Jordan: Well, it’s better than what ''Ali can do. Muhammad Ali: I’d like to see you try for once, Jordan! Zach Sherwin: Go! *Al Capone runs with Blackbeard on his cart, as Bruce Lee and Clint Eastwood get ready.* Clint Eastwood: Are you sure you want to do this? Bruce Lee: Yes! Now get on! *Clint Eastwood climbs onto the cart, lying on his stomach, hooking over the back ledge with his feet, and Bruce Lee goes to the front. Clint Eastwood grabs his feet, and Bruce stands on his hands.* Romeo: Is that even allowed? Zach Sherwin: I’ll allow it, I guess. Aaaand go. *Bruce Lee manages to move the cart fast, speeding out of the waiting area. The camera cuts to Monroe pushing the cart and Cleopatra, until a wheel breaks.* Marilyn Monroe: Aw crap! Why did this have to happen now? Cleopatra: Oh boy... *Cleopatra hops off of the cart, looking around for a wheel.* Cleopatra: Let’s look around, there’s gotta be one somewhere! *Cleopatra looks around a corner, grabbing a wooden wheel by luck. Rejoicing, the two slip off the broken wheel and slowly slide on the new one. Just then, Caesar and Zulu show up.* Julius Caesar: Greetings, Cleopatra. Cleopatra: Uh… uh… *Cleopatra freezes nervously, causing Monroe to get annoyed.* Shaka Zulu: You ladies look like you’re having trouble here. Might we help? Marilyn Monroe: No, we’re fine, really. Nothing we can’t solve, right, Cleo? Julius Caesar: Well, your teammate over here looks like she needs more than help. Cleopatra: Go away! Julius Caesar: Gladly. *Shaka and Caesar turn to see Wallace and Washington catching up behind them.* Julius Caesar: Run, Shaka! Shaka Zulu: You two stall them if you can! Don’t let them pass! Marilyn Monroe: Don’t worry, darling! We won’t! *Shaka and Julius go far away into the distance, Wallace and Washington running by. Washington is busy fixing his pants on the cart.* Marilyn Monroe: Yoohoo, boys! William Wallace: What’s it to ye? Marilyn Monroe: Mind helping some poor ladies in trouble? George Washington: No thanks! Onwards, Wallace! *The two keep going, leaving Cleo and Monroe once again abandoned.* Marilyn Monroe: Well that was rude. *The camera cuts back to Romeo and Juliet leaving, then Bonnie and Clyde stepping up to a cart.* Bonnie Parker: Oh Clyde, I love you. Clyde Barrow: I love you so damn much, I… Zach Sherwin: Please quiet, and get ready. *The camera pans to Bill and Ted looking at different carts.* Bill: So, which one do we want? Ted: I dunno, dude… all the good ones were taken. Joan of Arc: Uh, aren’t they all identical? Ted: Well, I guess, but- *Ted looks into Joan’s eyes, suddenly, stopping.* Ted: Hey, I don’t know about the carts, but those eyes are nice… Bill: I think I found a cart! *The camera pans to Bill with a run-down cart with several scratches, a broken wheel, and the roof missing.* Ted: Sure you did… Zach Sherwin: And go! *Clyde pushes their cart forward, Bonnie cheering. Ted still states and Joan of Arc, lost in her eyes.* Joan of Arc: ...Are you okay? Ted: No, I’m Ted. Nice to hot you. Miley Cyrus: *snort* Heh, someone’s got a boyfriend… Joan of Arc: What? Bill: Come on, Ted! We’ve got, like, a bunch of seconds left! *Adam grabs a cart next to Bill, jerking his neck over to it, and Eve hops on.* Adam: Hey, you’ve got ten seconds left, let him enjoy love while it lasts. Bill: It’s not love, he just spaced out. See? *The camera quickly pans to Ted drooling, looking up at the sky.* Bill: He does it all the time! Zach Sherwin: Aaaand go! Bill: Ugh! *Bill runs and grabs Ted, then sticks him on the cart, and begins pushing it, before giving up.* Bill: Nevermind, this cart stinks! Let’s take… *Bill grabs a random cart and motions Ted over.* Bill: This one! Zach Sherwin: I said go! Ted: But I just got on this one! *Bill glares angrily at Ted, who begrudgingly gets off their old cart, slowly walks over to the new one, and hops on it. Bill runs, just as Adam and Eve are allowed to leave as well.* Adam: I’d love to stick around and watch you two, but my heart’s just not in it! Eve: Oh, you’re so smart, I love it! (Confessional): Bill and Ted *Bill sits upset on the left, more sad than angry, and Ted sits disappointed in himself on the right.* Bill: Keep it excellent, dude! That was not excellent! Ted: Sorry. That was most bogus of me. End confessional *The camera cuts to Zulu, Wallace, and Leonidas approaching the first stall. Many gold vases, pots, and rings can be seen.* Shaka Zulu: Is there any restrictions on the requirements? Leonidas: Nope, I think it’s just grab one per stall. Sweet. Right, Go- *Leonidas suddenly realizes Gorgo isn’t on his cart.* Leonidas: Oh, come on! Where is she? George Washington: Well, look who’s going to lose! Luckily, I’m here to grab a vase! Julius Caesar: Let’s see… that one looks valuable. I’ll take it. George Washington: Hmm… I’d say that one. What say you, Wallace? William Wallace: Sure, I guess. I can see my face in it… it’s pretteh. *Caesar and Wallace both grab the same vase. Upon realizing, they glare at each other.* Julius Caesar: Oh, I see. You’re trying to compete with me. George Washington: Hand it over, and maybe we can be friends. Julius Caesar: Why should we be friends? You look like a toilet sponge. Shaka Zulu: Just yank it already! We don’t got all day! Leonidas: Actually, you might… where the hell is Gorgo? *Leonidas looks around for Gorgo, just as Juliet runs by pushing her and Romeo’s cart, stealing the vase from Caesar and Washington.* Romeo: Haha! Excellent, Juliet! I knew we’d do it- *Juliet tosses the vase at Romeo, and it lands over his head, blinding him.* Romeo: Augh! *The two race by offscreen, leaving Caesar and Washington confused. They each grab a random item and go. Leonidas, however, it left by himself.* Leonidas: Gorgo, where could you be? I thought you loved me! How could you do this? *The camera cuts to Gorgo walking with Beethoven and Bieber, Beethoven pushing their cart.* Gorgo: ...and that’s why I don’t love him. Beethoven: Wow, that’s rude of him to do. You think he’d think before speaking, but eh. Justin Bieber: Where is everyone? I get we’re eleventh and all, but these things are heavy! *The three walk up to the first market, where Eastwood, Lee, Bonnie and Clyde are running off. Leonidas picks up Gorgo and hugs her tight in excitement, who responds by groaning annoyed.* Leonidas: Babe, where have you been? Like, nine teams have passed me! Blackbeard even mooned me! Justin Bieber: Only nine? Let’s make that ten teams, then! See you later, losers! *Bieber grabs a vase and points forward, and Beethoven takes off pushing.* Leonidas: Hurry, grab a thing here and we can pass up everyone, babe! Gorgo: Whatever. *Adam and Eve show up at the stall, both singing to each other.* Adam: Say, that gold necklace over there would look pretty on you, Eve.~ Eve: Oh, you mean it? Adam: Absolutely. Why would I lie to you? Eve: Well, there was that one time you said- Adam: Forget I asked that. Grab and go, grab and go! *Eve grabs the gold necklace and puts it on, passing Leonidas and Gorgo.* Leonidas: GOD DAMMIT! Just choose something, Gorgo! *The camera cuts to Bill and Ted, in 17th place, having a miserable ride.* Bill: Why is this thing so heavy? Ted: I dunno, dude. I don’t see anyone for miles. We’re probably last. Bill: Why does it have to be us out first? Ted: It’s my fault, I really need to step up my act. I dunno what got into me back there. Bill: No, you’re radical! You just got stuck in the moment! Man, screw that moment! We can kick it’s butt no matter what! Ted: You’re right, dude! Hey, look! *Ted points at Leonidas and Gorgo, the latter of the two staring at all of the valuables left, all three of them, and trying to choose.* Bill: Huh… we’re not last anymore! *Ted grabs a random valuable and the two keep going. Angry, Leonidas hands Gorgo one and pushes, startling her.* Leonidas: Next time, let me choose, alright babe? Gorgo: Fiiiine. Whatever, less work for me. *Leonidas pushes the past Bill and Ted, gradually building up speed.* Bill: Huh… we’re not not in last place anymore! *The camera pans to Romeo and Juliet, Caesar and Zulu, and Washington and Wallace, all with two valuables, one gold and one silver object, Caesar/Zulu a necklace and place, Wallace/Washington a sword and shield, Romeo/Juliet a vase and a mirror, approaching the third stall. Romeo still has the vase on his head. This stall has animal skulls of varying sizes.* Julius Caesar: Hey, one of these might be small enough to hold your brains, Washington. George Washington: Put a fork in it, Caesar! Romeo: Uh, Juliet, I cannot see. This vase is dark and scary. Juliet: Oh, sorry! Let me help you get that off! Romeo: No, I can do it, dear! *Romeo tries to yank the vase off, only for it to break on his head.* Romeo: Why must everything I touch break? Juliet: Uhh… no problem, let me just run back to the gold stall and- Romeo: I have a better idea! Get ready to run as fast as your little legs can carry you! *Romeo grabs a monkey skull and Caesar’s gold necklace. Right after, Juliet pushes their cart off quickly.* Julius Caesar: Damn you, you stupid Italians! Shaka Zulu: Hey, aren’t you- William Wallace: Oh, look who’s left with one less item! Julius Caesar: Oh, look who’s left with none. *Washington and Wallace laugh at Caesar, only for him to steal all of their stuff. Shaka pushes their cart immediately. The two look at each other, emotionless.* George Washington: ...what just happened, sir? William Wallace: I believe… I believe we’ve been plundered. *The camera shows Blackbeard sneaking up behind Wallace, only to sadden upon hearing this.* Blackbeard: Darn. *The camera cuts to Adam Savage and Jamie, Sherlock and Watson, and Gaga and Palin at the second stall.* Lady Gaga: So, Palin, which one of these goes best with the necklace from the first stall: This silver spoon, or this silver plate? Sarah Palin: Don’t know, don’t care, eh! Adam Savage: Well, actually, the spoon would be lighter, meaning you’d have less weight, but- Sarah Palin: Spoon it is then, eh! *Sarah hands Adam the plate and runs off, pushing Gaga.* Adam Savage: -but the spoon isn’t silver, it’s plastic! Jamie Hyneman: Darn. Well, sucks for them. Let’s go, buddy. *Jamie pushes their cart from the stall just as Oprah and Ellen arrive.* Oprah Winfrey: Could you push a little harder, Ellen? We’re practically in last, just with other people behind us! Ellen DeGeneres: It’s not my fault you’re heavy! Oprah Winfrey: Oh, excuse me? Ellen DeGeneres: You’re too heavy for me to push! Let’s switch! Oprah Winfrey: And ruin these shoes? Girl, please! *Ellen sighs of pain as Oprah walks over to Sherlock and Watson, who’re bickering with each other.* Oprah Winfrey: So, you boys going to grab something, or stand here all day? Dr. Watson: Oi, gov’nah, I’m grabbin’, you see, I’m gribbty grabbin’ but the cockney be blimey to my grubby munchkins, oi! Oprah Winfrey: I’m not even going to try and understand that, I’m just going to get something and leave you be to your… interesting discussions. *Oprah goes to grab for an item. Sherlock notices this, and yells and Watson, panicking.* Sherlock Holmes: Bloody hell, choose something, Watson! *Watson tries to grab a plate, but Oprah grabs it before him. Ellen quickly pushes them by, as fast as she can, at least.* Dr. Watson: Pickles and prune juice, ruffle my tuffle! Jimjams! *Miley and Joan pull up next to them, Miley sitting on the cart.* Miley Cyrus: Uh, say whaaaaaaat? *The camera cuts to Romeo, Juliet, Caesar and Zulu making it to a whole slew of stalls.* Romeo: Wait, so you mean to tell me there’s thousands of stalls? Well, then, take these back! *Romeo throws the stolen items at Caesar, hitting him in the face. Then he notices a Suggestion Box, and pushes the button.* Romeo: “She Sells Valuables By the Street Stall”? Your team must sell all five valuables it collected to stalls on the street indicated with big red signs… *Romeo looks at Julius and laughs nervously, slowly taking their stuff back. Caesar slaps his hand, unamused.* Romeo: Well, Juliet, what are we going to do? Juliet: These stalls still count for the race, right? We can get stuff from them to sell, then we win! Romeo: Oh, yes! You’re so smart, Juliet! *Romeo hugs Juliet, making her happy. Copperfield and Houdini suddenly rush by, Houdini pushing the cart.* Romeo: Now, where did they come from? *The camera cuts to Zach Sherwin on the safety napkin.* Zach Sherwin: Ah yes, part two. Where the teams are to sell their items to specially marked stalls. They can also trade five times, if they’re that desperate. Romeo is indeed correct, in that they can get from the stalls in the large market itself to sell; however, the items are not as valuable, and may be refused. With teams Julius/Shaka, Romeo/Juliet, and Copperfield/Houdini in first, Lee/Eastwood, Blackbeard/Capone, Washington/Wallace, Cleo/Monroe not far behind, Beethoven/Bieber, Miley/Joan, Gaga/Palin, Adam/Eve, Jamie/Adam, Oprah/Ellen, and Bonnie/Clyde just about wrapped up, teams Sherlock Watson, Bill/Ted, and Leonidas/Gorgo a bit further behind, and Jordan/Ali… where are those two? *The camera zooms to Jordan/Ali fighting at the first stall, annoying the stall runner.* Zach Sherwin: Indeed. With them there, who will win is the question, and who will call themselves the almost loser with this challenge? We’ll see, after the break. *The camera cuts to Lee/Eastwood, Blackbeard/Capone, Washington/Wallace, Cleo/Monroe entering the stalls.* Bruce Lee: Get the box! Clint Eastwood: On it! *The camera zooms to Blackbeard and Capone, noticing Lee and Eastwood’s open cart.* Blackbeard: Hey, Capone… Al Capone: Yep? Blackbeard: Wanna help me steal? Al Capone: Uh… what? Blackbeard: I’ll watch, you steal, okay? Al Capone: Who are we going to steal from, Blackbeard? Everyone’s on their carts. Blackbeard: Not Eastwood, he left; Bruce Lee won’t see if we’re… sneaky. *The camera moves to Bruce Lee, doing one-finger push ups in front of his cart.* Al Capone: Oh, I dunno about this… Blackbeard: But I do! *Blackbeard shoves Capone at Lee/Eastwood’s stall. Quietly, he shoves their valuables into his jacket, glancing over at Lee, too distracted to notice. However, Cleopatra approaches Capone to see what he’s doing.* Cleopatra: Say, Capone… whatcha doing there…? Al Capone: Oh, uh… hi, Cleopatra! *Capone drops the valuables to the ground. Blackbeard facepalms in the distance upon seeing this.* Al Capone: I’m just, uh… guarding my cart’s valuables, heh. Don’t trust anyone other than Blackbeard, mhmm! Cleopatra: You sure? Cause you look like you’re stealing Bruce Lee’s stuff… and Blackbeard’s over there. On your cart. *Bruce Lee hears this, and stops doing push-ups, springing up to confront Capone. Upon noticing this, he runs to Blackbeard and pushes him off the cart, begging him to push. Blackbeard agrees and begins pushing him, stealing Eastwood’s Suggestion Card along the way.* Bruce Lee: Those thieves will PAY! Blackbeard: Yargh, but we have no money! Muahahaha! Clint Eastwood: I still know what we’ve gotta do. Just listen. *The camera shows scenes of people “selling” their valuables. Capone’s arm is shown handing in a vase, Eastwood’s a plate, Juliet’s a painting of Gandhi from the large market, Washington’s a cow skull, Caesar’s a diamond ring. Then, the camera cuts to Romeo trying to sell a monkey skull.* Romeo: Oh, what do you mean you won’t accept this? How is that in the rules? Juliet: Maybe they like monkeys here…? Romeo: Come on, please! Look! *Romeo gestures off camera, which zooms to Eastwood/Lee and Blackbeard/Capone racing to get first.* Romeo: Our competition is going to win, and we’ll lose! Ugh! Just take it! *Romeo throws the skull at the market owner, and the team scramble off to sell their last four, then to majority of the game making it to the market, sans Jordan/Ali, Leo/Gorgo, and Bill/Ted. Zach narrates.* Zach Sherwin (Narration): The teams slowly but surely make it to the large market, to either sell or trade. *The camera shows Cleopatra and Monroe jumping with joy after handing in a brass fist, then Jamie handing in an abstract sculpture against his will, crying from the departure, and finally Sherlock and Watson trading in a gold plate for a magazine on Britain.* Zach Sherwin: Other teams race to me, for first. *Caesar and Zulu are shown racing head-to-head with Washington and Wallace, one cart getting ahead, only for the other to make it further. Up ahead, Bruce Lee and Clint Eastwood race Capone and Blackbeard, the latter panicking as Bruce tries to grab Blackbeard’s leg.* Zach Sherwin: Some, however, can’t seem to keep up... *The camera then cuts to Bill/Ted and Leonidas/Gorgo racing to the large market of stalls, both getting a Suggestion Card.* Bill: We’ve gotta… sell our… our valuh… valih… valow-blehs? The heck is that? Leonidas: Gorgo, we have to sell these things quick! Gorgo: Oh boy, marketing… how fun and interesting, makes me want to fall off a cliff. Leonidas: Uh… I think we can throw them at the people in the stalls? He didn’t specify the range we could sell them at. Gorgo: Whatever… throw them. I need to sleep. *Leonidas carelessly throws their valuables at random stalls market for selling, then runs ahead. Gorgo tries to sleep on the stall.* Bill: Uh, Ted… Ted: Yes? *Bill looks at their cart, with nothing on it, save for Ted.* Bill: Where are our things, exactly? Ted: Aw man, I knew we forgot something! And our first one must’ve fallen off! Quick, split and buy things! *The two teens frantically run opposite directions, Bill suddenly realizing he’s running away from the markets, and turns around embarrassed. The scene then shows Romeo and Juliet racing Leonidas and Gorgo.* Leonidas: Out of my way, brats! Juliet: No way, mister! I won’t let you win! Romeo: Oh, I love it when you get nasty, Juliet! Juliet: You’re so adorable when you compliment me, Romeo!~ Gorgo: Gag me with a tree root. Leonidas: Aw, babe, I love it when you- David Copperfield: Love is a mysterious thing, isn’t it? Harry Houdini: Most certain, my friend. *The camera zooms out to show David and Harry in front of the two from nowhere, Copperfield on the cart lying seductively with a rose in his mouth.* Romeo: Oh, faster, darling! The weird magicians are somehow ahead of us again! Gorgo: Oh my… I could go for a man like that.. Leonidas: A man like what? WHAT? Do you not love me? *The camera cuts to Zach on the Safety Napkin, watching the first four teams race to him.* Zach Sherwin: And, the lucky racer in first place is… *Blackbeard pushes his cart past the Safety Napkin, and Capone gets off, both panting.* Zach Sherwin: The Criminals. Next up… *Bruce Lee and Clint Eastwood arrive second, Lee still walking on his hands.* Zach Sherwin: The Extremists! And third we have… *The camera cuts to Shaka/Caesar and Wallace/Washington aggressively racing still, with Washington and Wallace just barely making it, almost hitting Zach in the process.* Zach Sherwin: AUGH! The Barbaric get third, with the Cunning making fourth! *Copperfield and Houdini arrive unnoticed, stop, then walk by again.* Zach Sherwin: Magicians in fifth… somehow… George Washington: Suck it, you two! We beat you! Haha! Julius Caesar: Just barely. And this? This challenge was just the first of many. So, we’ll see who wipes the floor with who by the finale. William Wallace: Whatever! Not like you’ll survive til then! *Leonidas and Gorgo arrive sixth.* Zach Sherwin: The Failing Marriage made it sixth! Leonidas: Answer me, babe! Please! A man like what? *Romeo and Juliet arrive seventh. Upon reaching the napkin, Juliet flings their cart forward on accident, causing Romeo to fall face-first onto the ground.* Zach Sherwin: Puppy Love is seventh! Romeo: I can’t feeh muh faeh… Juliet: Oh, you poor darling! Let me help you- oH NO! *Juliet quickly drags Romeo out of the way as Adam and Eve pull up.* Zach Sherwin: Lovebirds are eighth! Adam: Hey, good enough for me, right Eve? Eve: Well, eight sideways is infinity, which our love is forever… Adam: Oh, so true! *As Adam and Eve begin to make out, the camera cuts to the stalls, with the finale 10 teams rushing around. Bill and Ted, however, are the most worried. Here, Bill is seen trading his shoe for a television.* Bill: What do you mean this won’t work? I’ve got nothing else! Come on! *Ted runs up to Bill, grabbing his shoulder.* Ted: Dude, I got us through! All five items traded! Bill: But, my shoe! I need my shoe! Adam Savage: Jamie, we’re done! Let’s go! Dr. Watson: Pip pip, ahoy! We’ve cherry picked the licorice doohickey! Bill: No time to waste, let’s go get our- *Bill and Ted look to where their cart once was, only to see it missing.* Bill: -cart… *The camera cuts to show people arriving at the Safety Napkin.* Zach Sherwin: Ninth place! *Jamie and Adam high-five nonchalantly and walk away.* Zach Sherwin: Tenth place! *Watson begins to slap his knees before Sherlock drags him away.* Zach Sherwin: Eleventh place! *Bonnie and Clyde make out, until Zach coughs for them to move.* Zach Sherwin: Twelfth place! *Monroe and Cleo cheer, shrieking loudly, hurting Zach’s ears.* Zach Sherwin: You guys are thirteenth! *Oprah stomps her heels on Zach’s foot as Ellen skips in joy, stopping at once when Oprah smothers her face with her hand.* Zach Sherwin: Now, it’s up to the final five to pick up their pace! *The camera shows Gaga/Palin and Miley/Joan racing for the Safety Napkin. It cuts further back to Bieber and Beethoven moving slowly, Beethoven's back hurting.* Justin Bieber: Say, is there a penalty for switching who’s pushing? Zach Sherwin: Well, since you think there should be one, there’s now five minutes. Beethoven: It’s fine, Bieber… I can make it… just stupid random back pains… Justin Bieber: Come on, get up, we don’t have the time! Beethoven: But- *Bieber shoves Beethoven onto the cart and begins to push it fast. Gaga and Palin land fourteenth and Miley and Joan fifteenth.* Zach Sherwin: Fourteenth to the Politician and Musician, fifteenth to the Alter Egos! Joan of Arc: The what now? *Beethoven and Bieber land at the Safety Napkin.* Zach Sherwin: Well, five minutes starts now. Enjoy it while it lasts. Justin Bieber: You can’t enjoy a penalty! Zach Sherwin: You can’t, but I'' sure can. ''*Bieber groans and rolls his eyes, with Beethoven trying to fix his back. Romeo and Juliet are still on the side, Juliet sitting with Romeo’s head in her lap, facing upwards.* Romeo: Oh, hey Beethoven! Beethoven: Hi… guys! What… what’re you doing? Juliet: Oh, the usual… stopping a nosebleed… Romeo: I’m sorry, love… Juliet: Oh, no, it’s fine, it’s my fault… Beethoven: Sounds fun… Juliet: What seems to be the matter? Justin Bieber: We’re goners… this stupid penalty’s going to kill us! Beethoven: Not if my back does first! Romeo: Well, I wouldn’t be too worried… look! *The camera zooms to the two teams left: Bill and Ted running in circles, searching for their cart frantically, and Ali/Jordan fighting, with nothing on their cart, randomly stopped in the middle of the market, then running to the finish line repeatedly. The two arrive, and begin to cheer.* Michael Jordan: We ain’t last, dude! We ain’t last! Zach Sherwin: Not so fast, you two! Muhammad Ali: What is it? Did Jordan mess us up? Michael Jordan: Uh, hey! Zach Sherwin: You didn’t get any valuables or trade anything… you guys just raced straight over here. *The two look angrily at each other, then fight over the cart.* Zach Sherwin: Go trade or buy items to sell, then come back. *The two push their cart angrily away. Beethoven looks over at Zach.* Beethoven: Say, what’s the time left? Zach Sherwin: About… three minutes. Justin Bieber: Ugh… *The camera cuts over to Bill and Ted, still freaking out.* Bill: Dude, I don’t see our cart anywhere… Ted: I guess this means one thing… Bill: We quit and cry home? Ted: No! We go back to the start, and get one! Bill: Dude, we’re still ''gone then, either way! Ted: At least we go home ''trying, then. *The two quickly run back to the start to grab a cart. However, only the old, broken one is left.* Bill: Are you kidding me? Ted: Dammit! Bill: This is going to be pathetic… Ted: Just push, dude. We gotta fail with awesomeness, at least show people “we tried”. If we’re going out first, we go out with a bang. Bill: True that, bro. *Ted hops onto the old cart, and Bill pushes with all his strength. Zach Sherwin begins to narrate.* Zach Sherwin: With three teams still waiting to advance… *The camera shows Bill and Ted racing on their old cart, Jordan and Ali fighting in the middle of the market while trying to trade, and Beethoven and Bieber waiting nervously for their penalty to finish simultaneously.* Zach Sherwin: One of them gets to go now. Beethoven and Bieber, sixteenth! Beethoven: I’m so ashamed of myself. Justin Bieber: Go us… whoo... *The scene shows Bill and Ted racing, and Ali and Jordan trading, at the same time.* Ted: We’re almost there! Michael Jordan: You put that there! Muhammad Ali: No, you put it there! Bill: I’m getting… tired… Ted: Come on, dude! Like… a few hundred feet to go! Bill: I'' don’t have a hundred feet to go! I got only two! Ted: Aw bro, give it all you got! Muhammad Ali: One more item! What’ll it be! Michael Jordan: Aw man, this stall says “No shoes, no shirt, no service”! Muhammad Ali: I’ll serve ''him with no shirt, or no shoes! *Ali takes off his shoes and threatens the stall runner, who nervously accepts their trade item, a painting of cheese.* Michael Jordan: Sweet, dude! Let’s go! *Michael Jordan and Muhammad Ali run to their cart, but begin to fight when they can’t decide who should push.* Muhammad Ali: I’m the one who got our last trade done! Michael Jordan: But I'' gave you the motivation to finish! ''*Bill and Ted begin to pass their cart, and panicking, they both push.* Bill: Oh, my feet burn! Ted: Just a bit further! *Bill begins to slow down, and Jordan and Ali pass them up.* Ted: Dude… this is going to blow. Bill: I’m so sorry… I can’t go any further… Ted: Woah, woah, woah… do you think Freddie Mercury gave up when people made fun of his sexuality? Did Hair Metal give up when people called it too stupid? Did the other Beatles quit music when Lennon died? Bill: ...No! No they didn’t! Ted: Do the Wyld Stallyns give up, Bill? Bill: No… No, they don’t! Ted: THEN LET’S KEEP GOING, DUDE! *Bill suddenly picks up speed again, going as fast as he can, Ted air guitaring to cheer him on. Ali and Jordan, on the other hand, stop to slap box, but then notice them passing, and speed up.* Zach Sherwin: And, the last not-a-loser is… *The camera shows Bill, Ted, Ali, and Jordan’s faces all panicking.* Zach Sherwin: Aaand… congrats, you two! *Bill and Ted look at each other, then hug in victory, as much as second-last is considered a victory.* Bill: Thanks, dude! I needed that boost! Ted: No problem, dude! *Michael Jordan and Muhammad Ali pull up last, ashamed.* Zach Sherwin: Ali… Jordan… I’m sorry. But, even if you had beat them, you would get a penalty, for neither of you rode the cart. Muhammad Ali: I blame you, Jordan! Michael Jordan: Classic! Michael Jordan: Sure, we got last. Like, dead last. Muhammad Ali: But at least ''I ''still beat Jordan! Michael Jordan: Oh, please! Let’s take it to the track right now! One versus one, eight laps! Muhammad Ali: Oh, it’s on! Michael Jordan: *Sigh* I told you that aggressive approach wouldn’t work. 'Muhammad Ali: ''*Sigh* You’re right… next time, we go nice. ' ''*Jordan and Ali are seen walking into a sunset.* Michael Jordan: Say… you want some Indian food? Muhammad Ali: It’s on me, dude. *The camera cuts to Zach on the Safety Napkin with Beethoven, Bieber, Romeo, and Juliet.* Zach Sherwin: With one team down, and seventeen more to go, who will be left in the onslaught of the majority? Who’ll be next to go? Who’ll survive til the finals? And who here can dance the best to Putin’s odd taste in music? We’ll find out soon, on the Rizachulous Race. Category:Blog posts